Top 5 +1

Yet again its been way to long since I have posted last on my blog.  Possibly because I am pretty confident that no one really read it.  Anyway, I always thought it was important to blog, for others to experience a little of who I am through this digital journal.

I recently, well today, went through some old post that I haven't posted for one reason or another, this particular post was a "my goals" post that I was intending to have accomplished in the summer of 2010.  It's kind of depressing for me to read but this might be a good start to get focused for summer 2011.  If I can commit myself I will go through these and see how they can change for me.

I am writing this as of April 19, 2010 at 9:27 a.m.

Yes I should be working...

TOP 5

The following are the top 5 things I would like to accomplish in 3 Months.  I am writing this in advance and plan on adding results as months go by.

1. Spiritual awakening

I am down on myself for letting this get away from me. I have allowed the negative things of this world control my attitude and my spiritual life. 

Focus: Read the Bible more, engage in conversation about God more, be proactive about my convictions.

2. Weight Loss

This is one I have struggled with since I got to where clothes do not like to cooperate with me.  I want to look and feel good again, I want to play and not get winded, I don't want to go to the Dr's anymore out of fear of something being wrong.  Last night (4-18-10) I weighed myself on the wii and it said I was 227 

Focus: goal in 3 months is to lose 30 lbs

3. Assessing the Future of Ben Mills

I am being vague on purpose.  This deals with what I want to do with my life.  Life is just beginning and now I want to see what is in store. 

Focus: More details will hopefully come

4. A Better Husband and Father

It is no secret that the last several months I have struggled with some anger "issues" These are part of my frustration with my own personal issues of feeling like a failure and being a parent to a son who loves to push my buttons.  My plan is to make more family time, turning off the t.v., going outside, doing more activities together, doing anything that would allow my family to connect with each other and to put smiles on each other their faces.

Focus: Find ways to connect and engage my family with each other

5. Be More Positive

Elizabeth told me she likes to dress for the job she wants to have, in my case when the job (or pay raise) that I want to have in the business I work for is pretty casual, it makes it that much harder to stand out.  But she brought up a good point, I dress how I feel, which isn't much.  I plan on making myself feel worth something again, like I have something to offer, like I want to make a difference. This might not come in the way I dress but in my attitude on me personally.

Focus: Focus on the positive things in my life

+1 Ordination

This +1 is because it is now becoming a hindrance in my dream.  I need to complete it and I can do it pretty fast.  I have written time line after time line just to see them rush past me.  Each paper should be 2 hrs max but as I write I over-think and then these papers end up taking 1/2 a day.  I am 5 papers behind for licensing and 10 papers being for ordination.  I would love to have them done by June but not going to happen so on this particular piece I am sure I will be struggling with this 3 months from now.  So unless you see an update you can assume I am still working on it and for that I ask for your prayers.