Sunday

I am going to try to write a summery of my week every Sunday. I don't know if I can even do it but here is my first attempt. I was trying to come up with a clever name to call it but all I came up with was "Sunday" well maybe I will be inspired with a name for next week. Right now I am watching the Deadliest Catch by myself, in my room, as my wife is putting our son to sleep. I really like the Deadliest Catch, I am not sure why, maybe because it looks like a lot of work but fun at the same time. Maybe its because there is nothing with you except a bunch of testosterone, in the open sea, with literally no where to hide. It would be lonely, sacrificing, but I think a great experience. If I had the time, gut and bad sense I might attempt to "apply" but I think I will stay at my safe steel job right now. This morning I woke up in a bad mood. It might have been the lack of sleep due to the horrible smell last night, but I think its something deeper. These past several months I have struggled with what I am doing. I am unfulfilled, I work hard, make good money, I don't even hate my job, but for some reason I feel like I wasn't meant for this. This job is safe, its comfortable, its easy there really is no challenge. Just to keep myself awake I go to the corner store and buy a Ale8 and a pack of sunflower seeds and redesign my office that would fit what I am doing a little more properly. I have been thinking a lot about ministry of late as well. Again I have picked safe places, non-challenging. I sometimes get wrapped up in what I am doing that "ministry" has lost its meaning but fun has become where why energy lies. (Not that you shouldn't have fun, but I am looking for the deeper meaning) I have struggled with the recent changes in the Church of God (Anderson) movement and their ordination process. Its gotten to be more about Indoctrinating and less about accountability, mentoring, and yes validation. I am not sure Jesus would be to happy with this non-denominational denomination but to be honest I am not sure he would be to satisfied with most Christians. I am kind of in the middle of depression and excitement, it almost feels like a fire that has just started, if left alone it will die, if fed it can be a massive heap of destruction. I am not sure what God is doing right now, the challenges that I face with my own thinking and feelings can teeter towards acceptance of where I am or it can teeter towards something beautiful, destruction, and inspiring. Again I am not sure. Time will tell, I have lots of thoughts inside my head its just a matter if I put them to practice or not. OK that really wasn't a summery but oh well. Here is more a summery: We finally turned in our Nintendo Gamecube with the games Super Smash Brothers Melee and Mario Kart: Double Dash and for an extra $20 we got two games: Rayman Raving Rabbids Super Mario Galaxy To say the least I am not disappointed in either title more on that later. My wife and I have being discussing "GREEN" more frequently, not really for environmental reasons (although that is part of the equation as to why we are thinking deeper into the situation) but for economical reasons. We have talked about our future house, with the existence of chickens, maybe some pigs and cows (mmm I love meat) and a garden. We want to be more self sufficient, able to rely on ourselves more. We started our "GREEN" endeavor with buying reusable shopping bags, yes they are a $1 but you use them more than once. It is one step towards using less. Again I am interested where this start might leave us and I will share more as we progress. This weekend was about getting stuff done. Elizabeth and I took a bunch of stuff to the goodwill as we cleaned out the first portion of my parents garage. We also took a ratty old couch to the dump that we later found out was closed. But the couch remains on the trailer until Monday evening when we drop it off. The basement is still FAR FROM CLEAN but its got a nice dent. Yesterday we came home to a very funky smell that left us well almost puking our brains out. So today's project was for my father and I to dig up two man holes in the septic tank, which we found with some accuracy (thanks Dad). So that is pretty much it for now I will post more later.