Kicking out a whole youth group

A couple of weeks ago I was listening to the Simply Youth Ministry Podcast and the discussion came up about kicking out a student. Andy told of his recent experience of telling a youth that he had to home. On the chat room, stories started popping up about other youth pastors experiences.

I have told youth that they couldn't go on trips but had never really asked youth to leave. When I started at the First Church of God in IN, they had some discipline problems within the youth program. A lot of that had to do with organization but it was a problem none the less.

As time went on, the youth group got a little more tamed down. But discipline was still a problem. The first thing we did was split the groups to Junior High and Senior High. That helped because the Senior High was causing some problems because they didn't like being mixed with the Junior High. Some of the Senior High would come on Wednesday to help and that really helped discipline because a lot of the younger ones looked up to them.

As things cooled down some more junior high started coming and the discipline was out of hand again. After about 3 weeks of the lesson taking 4 times as long because I had to stop a hundred times, I had finally had it. The next week we played a game and came to sit down for the lesson. The Junior High was especially hyper and I couldn't even get a sentence out. They were just very loud and obnoxious. I had to yell to get their attention and when I did I went on a spill about how they like to come for games but don't want to take 15 mins to listen and finally said, "I should just stop youth right now and try again next week...I think that is what I am going to do!!!" I told them to go home and if they wanted to come back they needed to straighten up. So I kicked the whole youth group out. I told my Senior Pastor with some MAJOR disapproving looks. He was almost speechless. I felt, and still do, that I did the right thing. Of course you know that Pastor knows best.

The truth was the Junior High liked coming, they liked the socialization and it was a real sign that they did something wrong. I wasn't sure about this until the following day when I ran into some of the youth at Wendy's. They were with their grand parents and they stopped me and said, "I think these boys have something to tell you" and in unison the boys said they were sorry. I apologized for my actions, but was stopped by the grand parents saying that I had done the right thing and next time I had problems to call them.

The next week youth was full with the same kids and I had no problems. Problems came back but were never to that magnitude. After that point I found some of the "leaders" and started eating, and spending time with them. I got them on my side and they helped me with their examples.